Why is it so hard for people to call themselves ‘runners?’ We have this idea that if we’re not running a marathon every weekend and averaging seven-minute miles that somehow we’re not worthy of the title.
Well, to help out our plucky readers, I’ve put together a runner quiz to help you figure out if you’re really one of the ranks or not. Feel free to print it off to keep track of your answers. I’ll give you the key at the end.
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How many 5ks have you run?
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How many half marathons have you run?
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How many marathons have you run?
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How many ultras have you run?
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Have you ever done a triathlon?
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How many other distance races have you done?
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Have you ever received a DNF/did not finish for a race that you could not complete?
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What is your average race pace?
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From cartoon pig to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, what color is your face while running?
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How many times during a typical race do you question why you signed up for it?
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How many times have you referred to yourself as slow, not really a runner, less-than-Kenyan, or referred to a race as a “run” because you know you’re not competing for a place?
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How long have you been running?
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What is the most obscene sentence you’ve ever muttered out of running frustration?
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From hand-me-down or thrift store to “my sponsors gave it to me,” how expensive is your gear?
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Do you look super legit when you run? Pick one: shuffling, meandering, slogging, steady, pretty good, surprisingly good, Runner’s World cover model, gazelle, or blur.
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And finally, do you somewhat regularly move your feet and legs in a way that you are—at times—not touching the ground with either foot for the purpose of fitness, sanity, fun, or for any reason other than to avoid your demise from something like a bear or to chase a food truck?
Now tally all of your answers from the first fifteen questions. Just kidding. They don’t matter at all. All that matters is the last question. It doesn’t matter if you’re a sweaty tomato in your big brother’s basketball shorts and you can barely run a block without collapsing, if you are out there running, you’re a runner.
Coming soon: the “Are You Really a Triathlete?” quiz, featuring questions like, “Have you ever contemplated using water-wings or swimmies?” and “How afraid of getting kicked in the face are you?”
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